Wanted

Wanted: Tracy Giles
Crime: Trespassing and Stealing
Disguise: Stay at Home Mom

You may think that you know me well, but really you don't. I might look like your average law abiding citizen, but oh do I have you fooled. While my alibi, I mean my mom, was in town, Tag and I decided we wanted to take a late night "after hours" dip in our community hot tub. Something we have wanted to do since we moved in. The kids were safe and warm in their beds so Tag and I ventured out into the dark night. To our dismay we found the streets packed with teenagers taking advantage of their last few nights of freedom before school started. Darn. We will definitely be spotted trying to climb over the very tall fence surrounding our pool. However, I'm not that quick to give up. Once I set my mind to do something I have a hard time turning back. We started to walk down the street in our swimsuits holding our towels. We aren't obvious or anything. Minutes after stepping out onto the sidewalk we were being trailed by an elderly couple walking their dog. Did they know what we were up to? I started to get a little nervous. We couldn't walk straight to the pool now, Tag suggested we keep walking down the street. We pass the pool and keep going. Half way down the block I get the brilliant idea to stop and act like I'm fixing my very complicated flip flop until we're passed by the suspicious couple. I know, I'm such a dork. Tag stood there watching me, I'm not really sure that I even knew what I was pretending to do, but I continued to sit on the ground like a dork and fiddle with my flip flops until the coast was clear. So lame. We turned and walked back in the other direction toward the pool. We circled around to the poorly lit far side area. Now I'm a pretty flexible person and I wouldn't consider myself a total weakling, so I was very surprised at how difficult it was to scale the fence. With only one injury we made it over without being seen. I would take a picture of my colossal deep purple and yellow bruise, but because of it's location on my body I will refrain. We slipped into the hot tub unnoticed. Let the relaxation begin. Ahhhhh . . . nobody around. We kept our heads low to avoid being seen by passing cars and the many teenagers hanging out on the street. Then we heard, " Hey, there are people in the jacuzzi!" I just waved my hand 'Hello' in the direction of the voice and went back to relaxing. Of course teenagers don't care that we snuck into the pool. Why would they. After a relaxing evening, except for my little injury, my partner in crime - literally, came up with a better game plan for getting back over the fence. We were safely on our way home, just a few houses away when I realized that I left my watch laying next to the hot tub. *Sigh*


As if trespassing isn't bad enough, I can now add thief to my record. I was at the grocery store picking up a few things for Lily's special birthday dinner. My get away car, I mean my mom and the kids were in the car circling the parking lot. Any mother knows that it's easier to steal, I mean shop when you don't have your kids with you. So, I was at the self check out trying to go quickly because I was worried that my mom was stuck with a crying baby. Of course when you are trying to hurry, that is when everything falls apart. The machine started speaking to me in spanish and kept asking me to put my groceries back in the bag, even when I hadn't moved them. Finally, a very nice employee came over and fixed my check out machine so I could get on my way. Because I had just been held up (timewise) I was rushing even more. I got all my groceries checked and bagged, or so I thought. It turns out I got away with 4 yellow onions without paying for them. I told Tag when he got home that night that I accidently lifted 4 onions from the grocery store and he gave me a high five :) Today, I went back to the grocery store to buy more groceries and when I got to the check out counter they had my picture posted and I was arrested on the spot. Just Kidding. I told the cashier who was probably 17 years old that I needed to pay for four onions that I accidently left with a few days ago and he actually laughed at me. He gave me a look that said, "CRAZY LADY, WHO CARES!" Another worker standing close by overheard our conversation and said," Don't worry about it, they don't cost very much. It's on us." I tried arguing with them, but the more I insisted the more they laughed. Maybe they aren't use to semi honest people who come back to pay for things. I say semi honest because I did just break into our pool and go swimming so I can't act like I'm a totally innocent person.

Anyway, it seems like I'm on a roll here so stay tuned in to see what kind of laws I break next!