When life gives you lemons . . .

Life often presents you with great learning experiences and lessons in which we can teach to our children.  I won't pretend for a second that I'm a super mom who seizes every minute and recognizes all of those little life moments which could lead to some life altering, ever enlightening lesson for my little offspring.  I wish.  In fact, at this very moment my kids are sitting in front of the television, which I hate, but I turned it on so that I could blog.  Mother of the year!  Today was a day of learning about life's little lessons - both for me and for Lily.

As Tag would say, "Lily has a bum heart", a fact we have all known since before she was born.  However, she has never really understood it until just yesterday.  I picked Lily up from school a little early to make sure we would get to the cardiologist on time for her regular tests and check up.  I was also scheduled for a fetal echo, which turned out fine.  Anyway, I told her as we were walking to the car that she was going to go get another heart monitor put on.  Lily is usually excited because she knows that we will let her get a video or new toy for having to wear it.  I look down at her expecting to find my smiling happy girl, instead all I found were huge tears streaming down her cheeks.  My heart about stopped!  We've always been very honest with her about her heart, as much as you can be with a child.    She's very aware of her multiple scars from surgery.  The change came though from being aware of the fact that the other kids at school never wear heart (holter) monitors.  Mommy, Daddy, and Harrison never have to have tests run or wear heart monitors either.  

The first question she asked me upon arriving at the car was, "Do I have to wear it to school?"  When I told her yes, she cried even harder.  Thanks to my pregnancy hormones, I didn't even make it around to my door before I was full blown bawling.  She cried all the way to the hospital telling me how she doesn't want to do this anymore and she doesn't want to wear a heart monitor anymore.  It was awful!  In the grand scheme of things I realize how fortunate we are that Lily's ailments are so minor.  It could be so much worse.  However, she doesn't understand that and this is a big deal for her.  It has been heart breaking to watch her realize over the last day that she is different.  That her heart is different.

She did not want to wear the monitor to school today.  This is when I realized I was being faced with one of those moments.  I knew I could keep her home from school so that she wouldn't have to face the questions or any kind of embarrassment or I could just send her on her way and let her deal with it - tough love.  Neither of those seemed like the right thing to do though.  After making a quick phone call to Lily's teacher I knew what I wanted to do.  Lily and I got dressed and we headed out to the Children's Hospital with Harrison in tow.  We went to the medical library and printed out lots of pictures of the heart for her classmates.  We then hit the Valentine's clearance aisle at Walmart for some heart stickers and miniature heart picture frames.  I had called and asked Lily's teacher if I could make a very short presentation about the heart to her  class, show them her monitor, and let them ask Lily any questions they might have.  Lily was really excited about this idea and so was her teacher.            

The kids in her class responded very well to the pictures and learning all about Lily's special monitor.  She gave them all a heart sticker, which they all proudly wore.  I sent them home with a heart picture frame and a couple of pictures of the heart.  Lily seemed very happy about her school experience today.  She still wasn't happy about having to wear the monitor, but this made it a little easier to handle.

That was my life lesson.  Even though there are times that I want to hold her tight and protect her from any kind of trial she might face, I've realized that that won't help her learn how to face her fears and deal with the difficult things that are just apart of life.  I wanted her to know that I'm here for her to help her through the tough times, but that she still has to face the music.  To be totally honest, sending her off to school to deal with it all alone was never really an option.  I may not always be able to follow her into the school and stand beside her, but I will always be there supporting her (or waiting just outside in my car) :)  

I hope Lily learned today that I will always be there for her and she doesn't have to do it alone, but that she still has to do it  - whatever it may be.           

That doesn't mean though that there won't be times that I will want to lock the doors, pull down the blinds, and hide my children from any hardships headed their way.  There may even be a time or two that I do that exact thing :)  I just think it is so important to teach our children how to deal with the tough moments, especially by being there for them.  I just so badly didn't want Lily to feel like she was all alone today.  Tag and I can't face her trials for her, but we can be there to support her through them.  The most important thing is that she knows how much we love her and one way to show her that is to be there for her when life is a little hard.

Now if only I had more moments like this one :)  Since Harrison only sat through the first 10 minutes of Finding Nemo, I should get back to more productive things with my kids.  I really do hate T.V. and I hate that I'm such a sucker for turning it on whenever I have things I need to get done.  Luckily, my weaknesses are a blog post for another time!